I'm going to attempt to write a more personal post, which is pretty uncommon for me these days.

I recently started working as retail management for a major company. While it is definitely not something I saw myself doing before, the lack of ideal jobs and unemployment time forced me to bite the bullet. And you know what I found, is that it's not as awful as I would have expected. I actually really like working with the people; they're young, energetic, fun and outgoing. Time passes relatively quickly and I'm learning things like time and people management. It's not my perfect job, but it's good for now, especially with how rough things have been.

What bothers me isn't my job, it's when I tell people my new job; I can immediately sense their judgement and distain. I can tell they're almost laughing at me because they see me as a failure for succumbing to retail. In fact, I just told a childhood friend, someone I consider almost family, that I was now doing retail management, and I could read the meanness in his text:

"Hahaha. Wow. No super high end job with your degree-"

I'm not gonna lie, it hurt. A lot. I always thought of him as a brother, and to have him mock me was almost shocking. I had always supported him in his endeavors and never once mocked his work because I knew he'd be successful one day. And now he is on his way to great success, and he mocks me.

I guess what I need to remind myself, is:

1. Hey, this isn't going to be my life forever. It's a start and I'm going to keep going.
2. I'm smart, curious, creative, compassionate and ambitious. If it takes a while for a company to realize that in order to hire me, then so be it. My time just hasn't come yet.
3. Retail or a job in general is not below me in times like this.
4. I'd rather be employed than unemployed.
5. I'm here mainly for my family. I feel like I need to be here for the time being. I'm hoping I can move within the next six months, but I came back from the Philippines, where there are tropical islands, coconuts, friends and fun, for a reason.
6. There are others who still don't have a job.
7. I'm not earning money by stealing or lying.
8. I'm contributing towards my family in more ways than one.
9. I need to pay off my loans, save up for the holidays and help out with finances.

And last but not least:

10. That I need to remember who my real friends are, no matter what the job title.

For those who have been supportive, thanks so much. I remember who each of you are.

I've resisted it as long as I could, but I kinda do like Twilight and all its ridiculousness of sparkling marble skin, the inexplainable passion and attraction between Edward and Bella and the ever so hot Jacob (Which, by the way, WHY is he actually 16?!? So wrong.). Movies and books like this just make girls nuts and create a hope for a relationship that is just purely impossible. And I'm not just talking about the impossibility of vampires or the hottness of Edward and Jacob, but the passion involved in their relationship. How can two people who never seem to interact with any sort of interest below the surface be so passionately in love? It just fails to convince me (but succeeds in making me envious). Ugh, I hate how it all doesn't make any logical sense but love reading about Edward and Jacob.

Seriously, Bella AKA Kristen Stewart can just fall off a cliff. She is just not deserving of this role in the books or in real life!